Letter to my husband who does not value me: moving examples
Feeling that we don't matter enough, or that we are expendable to those closest to us, is one of the most hopeless feelings we can experience. Even if there are no extreme facts in sight, many people end up making the decision to move away, as it may be preferable to live alone than to live with people who make you feel alone.
This situation also means constantly dealing with the lack of understanding, rejection and indifference of another person, who is supposed to be happy that we accompany them and form part of their life. And this feeling of loneliness is not usually the product of a sudden perception, bad mood or other occasional things, but rather a physical and emotional distance that one of the members of the couple establishes.
If you are in this situation, perhaps a letter could be a suitable medium to shape your ideas, your feelings, and express to your husband how difficult it is for you. Here are two examples of letters to a husband who does not value you:
Sample letters from wives to husbands who do not value them
I decide to put these words in writing because I have tried to say it in many ways, but it seems to have had no effect on you. I remember that a while ago, you told me that it was the most important part of your life, the reason for your happiness, and even what you wanted most in the world. It saddens me so much that this seems to be in the past.
It is not just my perception, but a sustained situation over time. I can feel the coldness and indifference in the way you treat me, or when you simply avoid treating me. This makes me feel really bad, and besides thinking that you don't love me the way you used to, I suspect that maybe you don't even want me to stay by your side.
I have been patient and I have continued to strive to seek your well-being, I have made an effort and sacrificed for you, because I love you, but for some time I have realized that this may not mean much. I don't intend to make any complaints to you, I just want to let you know that I need to know if this will change.
I need to know if you have new plans, if you're thinking of starting something with someone else. To know if I have to draw strength to resign myself, and follow a different path.
If not, I would like you to explain to me what is happening, so that together we can fix what has started to break down. If there is something that can be done and it is in my hands, you just have to tell me.
I have been feeling bad for a long time and I am very sad as I write this letter, but I couldn't think of a better way to express what I feel. My last hope is that everything can be fixed.
I can't stand the thought that everything we've built and lived through is suddenly in the past. But neither can I bear to live so close and so far from you, that your distance is so great, that you are totally indifferent to my sadness.
Little by little you have become someone so far away, who only comes and goes, but does not communicate with me at all. I don't know what else I can tell you, this whole situation fills me with discomfort and confusion, I urgently need you to respond, to clarify things. With much love and much faith, your wife.
I have decided to write this letter after much reflection on what is happening and what I feel about it, and to realize if I was wrong. I think that it is you who should reflect, or if you have already done so, I need you to tell me what you think. I have realized that everything is more unstable between us, our discussions have increased and you no longer show much interest in communicating with me.
I feel great love for you and I would like nothing more than to sit down and talk about what is happening. The distance and indifference that I feel from you hurts me very deeply, it is something that I will not be able to bear for a long time, and I wish that we could fix things.
I don't know if there's something that bothers you about me, if you've gotten tired of our relationship, or if it's for some other reason. If it were in my hands, I would do everything possible to solve it. But I need to hear what you think about it urgently, I can't with this situation anymore.
I don't dare ask you upfront if you want to continue with me, it's the most difficult question I've ever asked myself, but I urgently need to know the answer. I hope so, with all my heart, your wife.
Sample Letter from Unappreciated Wife
I am writing this letter to you because I feel that I am not valued in our relationship. I feel like I do everything for our family and I don't get any appreciation in return. I cook, clean and take care of our children, and I feel like I do it all by myself. I know you work hard, but I feel like you don't understand how hard I work too.
I feel that I am invisible to you and that you do not see me. I know I'm not perfect, but I try my best. I feel that I give and give and you take and take. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but I'm the only one who is brave enough to say it.
I want you to know that I love and appreciate you, but I also need you to love and appreciate me. I need you to see me and value me. I'm not asking for much, but I'm asking for something that I feel like I'm not getting.
I hope you can see how much I need you and how much I value you. I hope you can see how much I need your love and appreciation. I hope you can see how much I need you to value me.
Letter from a distraught wife
I hope this letter finds you well. I hope you find yourself happy and content in your life, because I am not. I am not happy, I am not content, and I feel that I am not valued by you.
I feel like I'm invisible to you. I feel like my opinion doesn't matter, and that my feelings are secondary to yours. I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, but I'm the only one who has the courage to say it. I'm the only one brave enough to stand up and say that I deserve to be valued, that my opinion matters, and that my feelings are just as important as yours.
I really love you. But I can't go on living like this, feeling like I'm not good enough, feeling like I'm not worth your time and attention. I deserve better than that, and I know that you can give me better than that.
So I ask you, from the bottom of my heart, to please start appreciating me. Please start listening to me and take my feelings into account. I know it won't be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it.
I love you,
Short letter to husband who does not value the relationship
I am writing to you because I feel that you do not value me in our relationship. I know I'm not perfect and I'm not always the easiest person to get along with, but I feel like you should value me more than you do. I feel like you always put yourself first and don't really care about my feelings. I know I'm not always the best communicator, but I feel like you should try to understand me better. I feel like you always make decisions without taking my opinion into account and that you don't really care what I want. I know I can be a bit needy at times, but I feel like you should be more understanding and considerate. I know I'm not perfect, but I feel like you should value me more than you do. I love you, but I need you to value me more.
Long letter from a wife to her husband who does not value her
It pains me to say this, but I feel like you don't value me. I know I'm not perfect, but I feel like you're always looking for a way to point out my flaws and criticize me. I can't help feeling that you always compare me to other women and that you find me lacking.
I get the feeling that you're never really satisfied with anything I do, no matter how hard I try. I know I'm not the best cook or the best housewife, but I try my best and I feel like you're never satisfied with what I do. I feel like you're always looking for ways to put me down and make me feel like I'm not good enough.
I know I'm not the most beautiful woman in the world, but I feel like you're always telling me I have to lose weight or change my hair. I can't help but feel like you're no longer attracted to me and that you're just waiting for me to turn into someone else.
It seems like you always put your work before me and our relationship. I know you're busy, but I can't help but feel like I'm always last on your priority list. I feel like I'm always the one begging for your attention and trying to schedule time with you.
I know I'm not perfect, but I feel like you're always looking for a way to point out my flaws and criticize me. I can't help feeling that you don't value me and that you only expect me to become someone else.
It pains me to say this, but I feel like you don't value me and I'm not sure how much longer I can stay in this relationship.
Letter from a sad wife to her husband
My dearest husband,
I write to you today with a heavy heart. For years I have loved you unconditionally, I have attended to your every need and have been your faithful companion. However, it seems that you do not value me as I deserve.
You take me for granted, expecting me to be there whenever you need me, but you never truly appreciate everything I do. You never bother to ask me about my day or how I'm feeling. You never thank me for cooking your meals or cleaning your clothes. It's like you think I'm some kind of servant, here to do your bidding with no need for appreciation or acknowledgment.
Worst of all, you never show me any kind of physical affection. It's been months since we shared a hug, a kiss, or even a loving look. It's like you've forgotten that I'm a woman, let alone your wife.
I can't go on living like this. I deserve to be respected, loved and valued. I deserve to be treasured and appreciated. I deserve to be shown physical affection. I deserve to be treated like the queen that I am.
If you can't give me these things, I'm afraid our marriage is doomed. I implore you to think about what you really want and need from our relationship. I love you, but I can't keep being your doormat. I need more.
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- Sample letters from wives to husbands who do not value them